Blessed Scars
Two poems from Motswana Ipeleng Rejoyce Kebalatetse
Blesseed Scars
All this while everybody thought they knew me.
Perfect and an all-round high spirited young lady
All squeaky clean and no stains, no flaws,
I guess I failed the outspoken test from the beginning.
But please allow me to make proper introductions.
The “early years old me”, journey wasn’t a walk in the park,
my so close friend grew up to be an adolescent.
In all sincerity I was childish except for my actions,
first it was all fun and games, swear I was clueless,
until I went to bed every night in ruthless condemnation.
Haunted daily by the thoughts of my filthy acts,
made to feel like I deserved everything that I experienced
A slight headache was a diagnosis of a deadly disease.
Unfortunately, my infant self was unlearned,
the excruciating pain of self-blame!
In so many ways my touch sense was violated,
what would an unknowledgeable fool like me do?
I had a voice but they could not hear not because ears they had not,
but their eyes wandered all over in the wrong places.
I thought actions spoke louder than words.
Introvert they labelled me, brilliant mind yet soul scarred
I had no dream, no vision, if you want call me worthless.
When my mother had gone to search for “greener pastures”,
I was busy writing the tales of a forty years old me.
The unbelievable wonders of the things under the sun!
Pursue righteous so said my Sunday school teacher,
purity is of the essence my child, come on preacher!
He forgives even the filthiest of sins, confess.
Guess my stubborn cognitive abilities were like infertile soil
word stuck in my heart, not my mind, no change.
I believed in the bad that transpired in my life
no confidant, no friend trustworthy,
every giggle from my back was judgment for the wrong I did.
Living with guilt all this time but I wasn’t the criminal,
the unconditional love of my neighbors.
All hypothesis proved right, the identity of a male specie, perverts
I still loved God but nothing was working for my good,
probably my sin was greater than all other sins.
Death when are you coming my destiny?
I could not comprehend my relentless toil.
So years went by, months, days passed
visibly my self-esteem and confidence collapsed
I learnt to forgive, but I forgot the most important person
hiding behind the smile and my crazy laugh,
the tales of a fear filled slave.
I spoke unfiltered to the man on the other side of the mash window.
The preacher’s words suddenly gained meaning,
so they say there light at the end of the tunnel
and so I sieved the filth through Christ the funnel.
This was my mistaken identity, I am free!
We Fight Quietness With Silence
One of us must have reached the boiling point.
Like an empty drum so is our one door house,
all we hear is the meow to the barking sounds outside our window
It’s as if our lives are centered on the clock,
“hello and I had a bad day”, no longer matter.
Really it’s none of your business, we live in a squatter.
As the tree leaves rebel against the wind,
we dance to the beat of a turnaround song
tactlessly somebody must have changed the harmony.
So we trip and fall, joy and laughter is a thing of the past
the rage in your eyes spell loathe.
If memories can be washed, then let’s go bathe.
Circumstances brought us together in holy matrimony,
yet the same has left me a widow.
I know I cherish black, an expression of my true self,
but this garment is too much of a burden than respect.
I’ve had my fair share of wrongs because I’m certainly not perfect,
too bad I don’t deal well with emotional congestion.
Day and night we fight quietness with silence.
Like cat and dog, we are embroidered on my Kappa jacket,
forget the bubbliness and the gayness sorry it was just a cover.
Talk less of being the good servant, who said the devil don’t minister?
My brother chameleon would attest to that,
But I suppose the corrupt can’t handle pretense for long.
IPELENG REJOYCE KEBALATETSE
Ipeleng Rejoyce Kebalatetse is a young Motswana lady, originally from Serowe, Botswana. She is currently a Social Welfare Intern in the Social Work Department at Serowe Administrative Authority, after completing her Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Botswana in June 2018. Ms. Kebalatetse has always had a passion for poetry writing since high school and has written a number of poems which are all unpublished. Ipeleng also loves volunteering mostly she engages the youth on social and educational issues. Apart from writing she enjoys reading and singing.
